Consistency and Kindness

 One of the many principles I have learned when working with my horse is to be consistent and kind. These principles can also be applied to our family, friends and colleagues and if we are teachers, should be applied within the classroom.

First of all, it is important to just show up. Show up regularly, show up when it's a beautiful day and show up when you're having a bad day. Simply show up consistently. The good thing about showing up no matter what is, Flint doesn't care how I look or if I'm having a 'bad hair day'. He doesn't notice if I've put on weight or if my socks don't match. He's happy to see me when I'm happy or when I'm sad, when I'm tired or when I'm full of energy. I need to show up consistently.

When I am working with Flint, I need to be consistent. When I am leading him, walking by his side, he needs to know my expectations and I need to listen. Sometimes I will say to him, "I'm walking to that tree" and other times, I will just move in a way that he knows where I'm going. During this time, I often talk with him about my day, about what's happening and I point out the good things that are in our surroundings. Sometimes I am silent but we are both aware that we are together and I love it when he gives a little nicker of acknowledgement.

 Yesterday I took Flint out of his paddock and we walked up the driveway towards another paddock.  Before we got there, he flinched for a moment as we passed the gate-shed so I encouraged and reassured him and we keep walking. Every now and again I told him to 'stand' and he listened and did what I asked. I felt a little energetic so did a little jog and he quickened his walking pace. We had fun moving around the large paddock and taking in the scenery around us! We posed for photos on our way back and when we came to the gate-shed, Flint predictably balked. 

For some reason, Flint does not like walking back past the gate-shed. The first time he showed fear was a few months ago when I was riding him. He went up to the corner rather than go through the gate-shed. After some time, trying different methods, encouraging him etc he succumbed and went to catch up to his friend. A couple weeks ago, the same thing happened when I was leading him back so today I was prepared. I got my husband to dangle a carrot in front of Flint but he didn't pay any attention. He planted his feet firmly and only moved backwards, in circles or sideways but not through the gate-shed.

I took the carrot and waved it in front of his nose so he could smell it. This method worked and he got through the gate-shed and was rewarded with the carrot. It was important that I listened and responded to what Flint was 'saying' to me.

No matter what you do, consistency and kindness are important: Turn up for your friends, family and colleagues and listen. If you're a teacher find out what works best for your students and try different teaching methods. Treat all people with kindness and respect. And have fun together! 

Communication Builds the Relationship

 Building a friendship takes time, patience and good communication,  especially listening.

This morning I wanted to spend time with Flint before we went to go and celebrate my gorgeous granddaughter's 3rd birthday. I found him up in the back corner talking with a cow over the fence in the next paddock. The cow saw me coming and wandered away while Flint waited for me to approach. Finally, he took the last few remaining steps, nuzzled into me and lowered his head so I could put the headstall on him - the pink one which means 'serious work'.

We walked along the back fence line and some of the cows looked up from their grazing and lazing in the sunshine. Flint hesitated and instead of rushing him, I stopped and looked to see what he could see. I gave him a pat and we walked on. As we began the downward slope towards the dam, he stopped again.

He looked regal standing there with the blue skies and sunshine surrounding him. I chose to walk him around rather than go straight towards the dam and that worked.

When we got to the ball, I picked it up and rolled it in front of him and he touched it with his nose. We went to the smaller paddock, stopping for a selfie along the way and played with the ball a bit more. Every time he touched it, I praised him and I even rolled it a few times in front of him and he didn't flinch. We did this for some time and then I took the halter off him, gave him a bit more patting and lovin' and within moments he'd gone back to join his bovine friends.

As I reflected on the session, I thought about how well we had done together. When he had stopped, I stopped and waited, reassured and listened. If it appeared there was a problem, I tried to find another way to make it work. I listened when he was expressing hesitation and we had a good time together.

I think it's important to do that with our friends. Go to them when you see them approaching so they know it's mutual. Listen to what the other is saying, wait for them to be 'ready/on the same page' and when a problem arises, find a way forward that works for you both.

Then play ball together - have fun together.