Falling Off A Horse

Since writing my last post, we have moved interstate for personal reasons which means we've had to adjust to a new place, a new pace, a new climate, a new job and re-establish old friendships and begin again with new ones. We brought Boston down with us but due to her age and failing health, we left Image with her previous owner. Boston is being agisted at my brother's place and although he has the company of a flock of sheep, he is the 'king'. When campers come, they bring gifts of attention and apples which he thrives on. He has paddocks full of green grass, supplemented by hay and a dam to drink from. He's in his element! He might be a gelding but he's king of the paddock and all those who see him, admire him.

Last weekend, I went to visit Boston. He followed me around the paddock and nudged me when he was close. I brushed him down and began to do some ground work with him. He occasionally did what I asked but I noticed that he also kept coming into my space, uninvited. I would make him step back but then he would move forward. This was unusual behaviour and when our time was up, I led him back into his paddock. There was a niggling feeling inside of me, one of nervousness but I put it down to me not having worked him hard enough and feeling a bit tired etc. 

Boston enjoying the grass while Milly runs playfully through it.

 A few days later I went out to visit Boston again. My brother was busy but told me to saddle up Boston and I'd be fine without him. I went to brush Boston and he stamped his foot and I hesitated. Due to how I'd been feeling the last Saturday, I waited for Warren to come and he helped me saddle Boston. When Boston stamped his foot at Warren, he ignored him and kept doing it while I waited tentatively.

I got on Boston and he followed Warren around the paddock. He ignored my instructions and I found it hard to take control back. Unfortunately I couldn't relax despite knowing that I needed to. From the outset, I had been nervous and had not confidently treated Boston with respect and he did a little jiggling (sort of mini bucking or pig-rooting as my brother called it) and I rolled off on to my back, missing the wood pile because Warren had pushed me (or the horse) out of the way.  

Afterwards, nursing my bruises and soreness, I evaluated what I had learned from all this and what changes I would need to make in order to ride successfully again. I didn't get back on Boston after I fell off - I was too sore. I now need to re-establish my relationship with Boston again. I will need to do some ground work and rebuild the trust that we have had in the past, so that we can work together again. It's about him and I. We need to look each other in the eye and know that we can ride together again. We have successfully ridden together before and we can ride again together. I need to learn how to do that again, with confidence.

Deeper still, in my evaluation means I applied this lesson to my real life. I sometimes allow my past hurts, insecurities and/or someone else's boldness and confidence to cross into my space uninvited. I need to be confident within myself, know my strengths and abilities and ensure that I put boundaries in place so that I can be more effective in doing what I do well. I can not allow others to determine my footsteps for me. Instead of them doing the jiggling around and me being tossed about, I need to dance my steps in the beat to the music I hear. 

In the meantime, I will ride my bike and prepare for a new school term with daylight savings!!! Oh how I have missed daylight savings!